The rants and raves of a frustrated bride

I am poor. Not live-out-of-my-car poor, but we are barely scraping by. We bought a home just over a year ago, so there's that. Then there's the cars. Then there's the disappointing tax problems we've had, not to mention the disappointing daughter problems we've had (although I'm saving those rants for a time whenthey  have passed and I'm over the anger). So basically, although we balance our debt fairly well, we don't have any money to spend. This creates an odd problem, as we also are engaged and planning a wedding for this summer. 

I have given up so much already as far as the dream wedding goes. Nothing has really gone the way I wanted it to. I've given up my dream venues, my perfect caterers, anything that you might have to spend money on. We aren't even actually getting married on the date we picked. Instead, we are getting for-real married in May, running away to our honeymoon, and doing a ring ceremony at the later Augist date. This is, in part, to relieve some of the stress, and also so that we can actually go on our honeymoon. 

Now the one dream I am trying to stick to is rediculously harder than I expected to maintain. I want to get married outside. I love in beautiful, spacious Colorado. This should be an easy and cheap thing. It's outside. It should be practically free. And yet, everywhere I look is charging $1000-$5000 just to use up some space. Even a public park is going to cost somewhere in the $1000 range. I'd settle for a nice backyard at this point. I just wanted some trees and grass, and maybe a bathroom and kitchen to borrow for one. Freaking. Day. I don't have $2000 to spend on space.

What's worse is that you then have to pay someone to babysit your party. AND, most places require professional catering and wait staff. I want to do the food ourselves, because we're poor. I can't afford to pay catering prices, let alone for the staff. I know this is a dumb problem that most people don't have, but seriously? I also understand that they need to make sure you don't abuse their property. I get it, I do, but for heaven's sake, do I really have to pay $60/hour for you to attend my event and make sure we don't ruin the space?  Do I really have to pay another $100/hour for people to set up the space (something my family is more than capable of) and to serve us food that I could make at a fraction of the cost?

I feel as though I have been very relaxed on my wants for a wedding. I've gone from a classy dream to a cheap, casual reality. Am I asking too much still? I'm paying for this event pretty much by myself. I just can't afford this crap. 

I have been very blessed in some ways. I have a wonderful close friend who's a cake decorator, who is giving me my cake as a wedding gift. I also have a close family friend who is giving me a great deal on wedding and engagement photos, and my family is so supportive and willing to do anything to help. I'm sorry for my frustrations. Hopefully we find a place soon, as our wedding date is getting scary close. :/ wish me luck!

My venue and stuff.

So after searching and visiting many a venue, I think we have finally found the one. One of my friends had her wedding there about a year ago. Is it tacky to use the same place? Anyway, it's Lone Hawk Farm in Longmont. It's closer to home, and it's perfect for us! I didn't take any pictures of this one, but here are some from a Google image search. 

See? Sooo perfect! And here are the pictures of the first one I was considering in Loveland. The fact that it's in Loveland, the "kitchen" was gross, there was no air conditioning, no shade, and the barn was way too tiny for what we would need.  And the bathrooms were port-o-potties. 

Osborn farm was so cute, but there were just too many downsides. 

Here was my day yesterday. 

Dog poop. Yep. Gross. I spent an hour cleaning the cushions. I can't even tell you how mad I was at my stupid dog. 

These are my 4th of July nails. It was a great independence day. Travis and I went to Loveland Lake for fireworks, and they were AMAZING! It was a good night. 

Squirt had surgery on the first to get her tumor removed. Everything went fine, and she was up on crutches the next day. It was an easy surgery. She's not in any pain, and she'll probably only be on crutches till Tuesday, when the stitches get removed. 

Here is my new haircut (curly and then straight) 

Aaannnnddd.... I suppose that's it for now. I'll update you all on more stuff later. :) love ya!

I'm engaged!

So it finally happened. He proposed. :) I can't tell you how happy and excited I am to be his wife. So I have begun the planning. And I already have advice. Go figure. Haha!

So for our wedding, I'm hoping for a rustic barn sort of theme. I have been looking everywhere for a cheap barn to rent out that didn't have a million requirements. I have run into several issues, such as you have to be done by nine, you have to use our caterers, you need to hire a bar tender for a champaign toast, etc. Oy! So my advice is to be very particular in your google search, and to use more than one search engine. I started out looking for barn venues in Colorado. There were very few results, and the ones I found were pricy. Barn weddings in Colorado produced a similar result. Although the venues were nice, they were expensive and about an hour or more away. Yuck. So I finally looked up farm wedding in northern Colorado (I also specified: Longmont, Loveland, Boulder, Greely, and Fort Collins). Ding, ding, ding! Finally I found some decent locations! I did use google a lot, but I would recommend using another search engine as well to get more results.

I ran into a lot of great ideas for my wedding along the way though. One woman decided that instead of renting out flatware, silverware, and glassware, she would go to thrift stores and estate sales to collect an assortment of china to give it an antique rustic and eclectic feel. I loved the look, so I've just begun my collection of plates.

I have already gone wedding dress shopping once with my best friend (she was moving to New York the following week, so we decided to go before she left), and although it was a lot of fun, and I found a dress I LOVE, I would suggest visiting more than one store, and not buying the first dress you love until you have tried on several. I haven't bought a dress yet, partially because I don't have the money saved for one yet, and partially because my mom and sisters weren't there to see it, and I'm glad I didn't. If I bought a dress this soon I'd probably have major buyer's remorse right now. I will take my time and visit another shop or two before I decide. I have plenty of time.

I am sorry to say that I'm finding my stress is coming mostly from my mother who is trying to pressure me into doing a wedding in mid August of this year. That's about 5 months away, and we have NO money for a wedding, as we just purchased a home. My mom is convinced that $2000 is more than enough for a perfect wedding. I think her misconceptions come from the fact that she is Mormon and is used to temple weddings and church hall receptions, both free. I do understand her point of view in other ways. My sister and her husband are moving to Washington at the end of the summer for school. But there are so many other issues. The vacation schedule for this summer is full, most wedding venues are booked, it's practically impossible for us to get time off work, and we don't have the money for a wedding or a honeymoon. It's just getting too sticky for my liking.

That being said, I am very lucky to be able to save money in ways that others aren't. My dad is hopefully going to take care of the cooking, so we only need to take care of the cost of the food. My wedding gift from one of my "other moms" is a wedding cake, and yet another gift from one of my "other moms" is alterations for my dress. I have several family friends that will give me discounts on photography, and one might even do it for me for free. I also know someone who's a dj, and someone who is a professional decorator and already owns a lot of the rustic type decorations I want, and she'll do it all for a reasonable price. Chairs and tables are available for free from my parent's church, and we know plenty of people with trucks. So I feel very lucky to have a lot of stuff already taken care of. Thanks in advance to all of those willing to help!

Last but not least, I am trying to keep this fun and easy. I don't want it to be a stressful, hectic, and frustrating experience. I want to have fun and enjoy my wedding.

Thanks for reading!