The rants and raves of a frustrated bride

I am poor. Not live-out-of-my-car poor, but we are barely scraping by. We bought a home just over a year ago, so there's that. Then there's the cars. Then there's the disappointing tax problems we've had, not to mention the disappointing daughter problems we've had (although I'm saving those rants for a time whenthey  have passed and I'm over the anger). So basically, although we balance our debt fairly well, we don't have any money to spend. This creates an odd problem, as we also are engaged and planning a wedding for this summer. 

I have given up so much already as far as the dream wedding goes. Nothing has really gone the way I wanted it to. I've given up my dream venues, my perfect caterers, anything that you might have to spend money on. We aren't even actually getting married on the date we picked. Instead, we are getting for-real married in May, running away to our honeymoon, and doing a ring ceremony at the later Augist date. This is, in part, to relieve some of the stress, and also so that we can actually go on our honeymoon. 

Now the one dream I am trying to stick to is rediculously harder than I expected to maintain. I want to get married outside. I love in beautiful, spacious Colorado. This should be an easy and cheap thing. It's outside. It should be practically free. And yet, everywhere I look is charging $1000-$5000 just to use up some space. Even a public park is going to cost somewhere in the $1000 range. I'd settle for a nice backyard at this point. I just wanted some trees and grass, and maybe a bathroom and kitchen to borrow for one. Freaking. Day. I don't have $2000 to spend on space.

What's worse is that you then have to pay someone to babysit your party. AND, most places require professional catering and wait staff. I want to do the food ourselves, because we're poor. I can't afford to pay catering prices, let alone for the staff. I know this is a dumb problem that most people don't have, but seriously? I also understand that they need to make sure you don't abuse their property. I get it, I do, but for heaven's sake, do I really have to pay $60/hour for you to attend my event and make sure we don't ruin the space?  Do I really have to pay another $100/hour for people to set up the space (something my family is more than capable of) and to serve us food that I could make at a fraction of the cost?

I feel as though I have been very relaxed on my wants for a wedding. I've gone from a classy dream to a cheap, casual reality. Am I asking too much still? I'm paying for this event pretty much by myself. I just can't afford this crap. 

I have been very blessed in some ways. I have a wonderful close friend who's a cake decorator, who is giving me my cake as a wedding gift. I also have a close family friend who is giving me a great deal on wedding and engagement photos, and my family is so supportive and willing to do anything to help. I'm sorry for my frustrations. Hopefully we find a place soon, as our wedding date is getting scary close. :/ wish me luck!